“Women worldwide ages 15 through 44 are more likely to die or be maimed because of male violence than because of cancer, malaria, war and traffic accidents combined.”
Category Archives: Women
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“… The emphasis colleges have put on telling female students how to box themselves in safely— don’t go here, don’t do that— rather than telling male students not to rape: this is part of rape culture.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“In the myth of Pandora, the usual emphasis is on the dangerous curiosity of the woman who opened the jar… and thereby let all the ills out into the world. Sometimes the emphasis is on what state in the jar: hope. But what’s interesting to me right now is that, like the genie’s, or powerful spirits, in the Arabic stories, the forces Pandora lets out don’t go back into the bottle. Adam and Eve eat from the Tree of Knowledge and they are never ignorant again…. There’s no going back. You can abolish the reproductive rights women gained in 1973, with Roe v. Wade, when the Supreme Court legalized abortion— or rather ruled that women had a right to privacy over their own bodies that precluded the banning of abortion. But you can’t so easily abolish the idea that women have certain inalienable rights.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Most people are afraid of the dark. Literally when it comes to children, while many adults fear, above all, the darkness that is the unknown, the unseeable, the obscure. And yet the night in which distinctions and definitions cannot be readily made is the same night in which love is made, in which things merge, change, become enchanted, aroused, impregnated, possessed, released, renewed.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“…the youngest of my three female companions had her bottom groped by a man about Strauss-Kahn’s age. At first, she thought he had simply bumped into her. That was before she felt her buttock being cupped and said something to me, as young women often do, tentatively, quietly, as though it were perhaps not happening or perhaps not quite a problem.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“If the term confuses you take out the word “sexual” and just focus on “assault,” on violence, on the refusal to treat someone as a human being, on the denial of the most basic of human rights, the right to bodily integrity and self-determination. “The rights of man” was one of the great phrases of the French Revolution, but it’s always been questionable whether it included the rights of women.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Women’s liberation has often been portrayed as a movement intent on encroaching upon or taking power and privilege away from men, as though in some dismal zero-some game, only one gender as a time could be free and powerful. But are we free together or slaves together. Surely the mindset of those who think they need to win, to dominate, to punish, to reign supreme, must be terrible and far from free, and giving up this unachievable pursuit would be liberatory.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Increasingly men are becoming good allies— and there always have been some. Kindness and gentleness never had a gender, and neither did empathy.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“…a graphic has been circulating on the Internet called Ten Top Tips to End Rape, the kind of thing young women get often enough, but this one had a subversive twist. It offered advice like this: “Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone ‘by accident’ you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can call for help.” While funny, the piece points out something terrible: the usual guidelines in such situations put the full burden of prevention on potential victims, treating the violence as a given. There is no good reason (and many bad reasons) colleges spend more time telling women how to survive predators than telling the other half of their students not to be predators.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Last summer someone wrote to me to describe a college class in which the students were asked to what they do to stay safe from rape. The young women described the intricate ways they stayed alert, limited their access to the world, took precautions, and essentially thought about rape all the time (while the young men in the class, he added, gaped in astonishment).”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Of the sixty-two mass shootings in the United States in three decades, only one was by a woman, because when you say lone gunman, everyone talks about loners and guns and not about men— and by the way, nearly two-thirds of all women killed by guns are killed by their partner or ex-partner.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“We have an abundance of rape and violence against women in this country and on this Earth, though it’s almost never treated as a civil rights or human rights issue, or a crisis, or even a pattern. Violence doesn’t have a race, a class, a religion, or a nationality, but it does have a gender.
Here I want to say one thing: though virtually all the perpetrators of such crimes are men, that doesn’t mean all men are violent. Most are not, in addition, men obviously also suffer violence, largely at the hands of other men, and every violent death, every assault is terrible. Women can and do engage in intimate partner violence, but recent studies state that these acts don’t often result in significant injury, let alone death; on the other hand, men murdered by their partners are often killed in self-defense, and intimate violence sends a lot of women to the hospital and the grave.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Having the right to show up and speak are basic to survival, to dignity, and to liberty. I’m grateful that, after an early life of being silenced, sometimes violently, I grew up to have a voice, circumstances that will always bind me to the rights of the voiceless.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Some men explained why men explaining things to women wasn’t really a gendered phenomenon. Usually, women then pointed out that, in insisting on their right to dismiss the experiences women say they have, men succeeded in explaining in just the way I said they sometimes do. (For the record, I do believe that women have explained things in patronizing ways, to men among others. But that’s not indicative of the massive power differential that takes far more sinister forms as well or of the broad pattern of how gender works in our society.)”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be human beings. Things have gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime. I’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“But explaining men still assume that I am, in some sort of obscene impregnation metaphor, an empty vessel to be filled with their wisdom and knowledge. A Freudian would claim to know what they have and I lack, but intelligence is not situated in the crotch—even if you can write one of Virginia Woolf’s long mellifluous musical sentences about the subtle subjugation of women in the snow with your willie.”
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
“Being told that, categorically, he knows what he’s talking about and she doesn’t, however minor a part of any given conversation, perpetuates the ugliness of this world and holds back its light. On two occasions around that time, I objected to the behavior of a man, only to be told that the incidents hadn’t happened at all as I said, that I was subjective, delusional, overwrought, dishonest— in a nutshell, female.”
The Lager Queen of Minnesota by J. Ryan Stradal
“Long ago she’d been one of those pretty girls… She was petite back then, and wasn’t anymore, but her power was that she’s always acted like she had the exact body she was supposed to have, at every age, like men did.”
The Lager Queen of Minnesota by J. Ryan Stradal
“She knew families who freely shared alcohol with their children on holidays, and she’d heard of teenage boys whose dads offered them beer after a day of hunting, fishing, or hard work, but she’d never heard of a teenage girl being offered a beer by anyone except a boy trying to get her drunk. No wonder the older girls she knew had such a cautious relationship with beer; it was often only available to them in moments of social or sexual anxiety.”
All it takes for a woman to be reduced to an object is too much eyeliner by Arwa Mahdawi
“Being a woman means constantly walking a tightrope between being invisible and being objectified. You’ve got to be nice, but not too nice! You’ve got to be attractive, but not too attractive! You’ve got to wear makeup, but not too much makeup! Perhaps it’s time to slap on the warpaint and make our own rules.”
The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams
“Society seems to rest upon the requirement that women are pitted against each other until we all emerge envious of the other.”
pg. 192
The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams
“Flirting is about confidence… That’s all it is… not your confidence. Hers. you want to make her feel like she’s the only woman in the room. It’s about putting a smile on her face, a spring in her step, a little blush and her cheeks. Say things that she’ll replay over and over again when she’s in bed.”
pg. 58
The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams
“If a man wants to leave you, wave goodbye and lock the doors. You’ve got better things to do than chase a lost cause.”
pg. 52
The Power by Naomi Alderman
“A dozen women turned into a hundred. A hundred into a thousand…The women shouted; some made placards. They understood their strength, all at once.”
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
“That’s really the main thing about being in prison. Too many men in one place. You’re stuck in there knowing that there is a world full of women who are putting out flowers, making things nice, civilizing the whole planet. But there I was stuck in a cage like an animal with a bunch of other animals.”
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
“I hate using that word, career. It always feels like the word bitch is hiding out between the letters.’
Still Me by Jojo Moyes
“All this nonsense about women having it all. We never could and we never shall. Women always have to make the difficult choices. But there is a great consolation in simply doing something that you love.”
Still Me by Jojo Moyes
“I wasn’t sure men would ever understand the infinitely subtle weaponry women used against each other.”
King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard
“It would be easy to stay in the dark, to drown. Slowly, I lower my hands and force myself to look at the sunlight. It takes more effort than I thought possible. I refuse to let [him] keep me prisoner one second longer than he already has. I refuse to live this way.”
The Almost Sisters by Joshilyn Jackson
“When things went to shit, girls called their mothers. My own mom smelled like chamomile and honey, and I wanted to run home, crawl into her lap, and abdicate all pretense of adulthood.“
The Almost Sisters by Joshilyn Jackson
“Hormones and daddy issues, the classic recipe for pushing girls way too early into boy arms.”
The Summer I Met Jack by Michelle Gable
“Her English was stronger than she’d let on. The problem, she explained, was that most men weren’t worth more than four words.”
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
“It puzzled him that she did not mourn all the things she could have been. Was it a quality inherent in women, or did they just learn to shield their personal regrets, to suspend their lives, subsume themselves in childcare?”
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
“…but it was the commercials that captivated her. She ached for the lives they showed, lives full of bliss, where all problems had sparkling solutions in shampoos and cars and packaged foods, and in her mind they became the real America…”
American War by Omar El Akkad
“Stay mean if you want to, you stupid little girl, she thought. Cling to that tiny piece of power you think you have.”
After You by Jojo Moyes
“Do you know how long the hairs in his nostrils are? I’ll tell you! He could wipe his plate with them. For the last fifteen years, I’ve been the one telling the barber to give him a trim up there, you know? Like he’s some kind of child. Do I mind? No! Because that’s the way he is. He’s a human being! Nose hair and all! But if I dare not to be as smooth as a ruddy baby’s bottom he acts like I’ve turned into flipping Chewbacca!”
After You by Jojo Moyes
“Divorced? I’m a good Catholic girl. We don’t divorce. We just make our men suffer for all eternity.”
After You by Jojo Moyes
“I had done that classic thing that women do, of ignoring everything a man says or does, preferring to listen to their own insistent drumbeat: It will be different with me.”
The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon
women didn’t go in so much for the recreational sorts of mayhem that men enjoyed Continue reading
The Orchard by Theresa Weir
“I didn’t trust men. I wanted to trust them because I knew there must be some good men in the world, but the ones I’d known had lied to my face while plotting acts of violence. Women could be bitches, … Continue reading
Maid of Deception by Jennifer McGowan
“It is never an easy thing to be a woman. And a woman in power is more at risk than any other. She invites attention. She is strong when the whole world thinks she should be weak, and there are those who don’t like that fact. Remember that.”
Maid of Deception by Jennifer McGowan
“We’ll learn what there is to be learned, and not rely upon the accounts of men who think they know more and better than we do.”
Three Many Cooks by Pam Anderson, Maggy Keet & Sharon Damelio
“To me, there is something deeply liberating in knowing that no one- my husband included- loves me because my body is perfect. (Because even if it were now, it certainly wouldn’t be forever.) Being imperfect gives me permission to live … Continue reading
Dr. Caroline Heldman
“There is no power to being a sex object when you think about it logically. But beyond that the idea that sex sells. I’d like to challenge that directly because: the fact is that if sex sold- most women are heterosexual, and we are sexual beings- so why wouldn’t we see half naked men everywhere in advertising?
I would like to propose that something else is being sold here. To men, they are being sold this idea that they are sexual subjects, they are in the drivers seat. It makes them feel powerful to see images of objectified women everywhere. And for women, we are being sold the idea that this is how we get our value and this is the way to become the ideal sex object. Which is why, instead of sex selling, the idea of subjectivity and objectivity are being sold. So we see men’s magazine’s with scantily clad women and we see women’s magazine’s with scantily clad women.”
Juliet by Anne Fortier
“She laughed out loud, a warm knowing laughter that made me once again wonder about the secret ingredient in these women’s lives… It was so much more than just self-confidence; it seemed to be the ability to love oneself, enthusiastically and unsparingly, body and soul, naturally followed by the assumption that every man on the planet was dying to get in on the act.”
The Enchanted Life of Adam Hope by Rhonda Riley
” ‘You just gonna stand around and watch him?’
‘There are worse things a girl can do.’
‘And I imagine you are thinking of at least one of them.’ “
How to Love An American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“A man doesn’t love a woman because she strives ; he loves her simply because she exists.”
How to Love An American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“If I’ve given a man- multiple men- my most beautiful, sacred form with nothing required from them, then no wonder that’s left me feeling worthless at times. Why weren’t they calling, why weren’t they trying to see me again? It’s because my feelings didn’t matter to them, because for a minute, probably after too much wine or a few Jaggerbombs with my friend, my feelings did not matter much to me. I had wanted to be desired without expecting that these men should want to know my heart first- and they should!”
How to Love An American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“Its like the Descartes supposition, “I think, therefore I am.” I’m a woman, therefore I am wonderful. All we have to do is exist, and for that simple state, we hold the title as World’s Most Radiant Creatures.”
How to Love an American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“Every man who has ever succeeded at anything should thank the woman at his side who has dodged crowds in high heels to see him to the finish.”
How to Love an American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“You always do the smart thing at the important moment. The best way to get to your heaven is to live like you’re already there-fearlessly. You’re unique. Just exist as the person you are, and the right man will arrive in your life.”
How to Love an American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“She explains that when the right partner comes along for me, no, we won’t have serious conversations all the time, but when we do, I have to feel that he bears an impeccable capacity for hearing me- not just the words I speak, but the desires in life that radiate from inside me. He’ll see all that, and he’ll choose it. My hopes won’t be a threat or a turnoff; he won’t make me feel too high-maintenance or complex. In turn I’ll prioritize his goals as if they were my own- and sometimes even more important than mine. And, this will bring me some of the greatest fulfillment I’ll ever experience.”
How to Love an American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“A woman is too precious to compromise her good time or her happiness because things haven’t gone her way with a man.”
Of Poseidon by Anna Banks
“Unlike me, she was a connoisseur of all things male. She knew when they were cheating. She knew when they were talking trash to their friends. She knew when they wanted her number even when all they asked for was a pencil.”
Of Poseidon by Anna Banks
“Do you realize how…how… sensual female humans are? Within ten minutes of walking through those doors, a swarm of them followed me. Everywhere. Even the adult females gave me mating signals! Rachel calls it hormones. She thinks hormones made Emma act so funny and run away like that, too.”
How to Love An American Man by Kristine Gasbarre
“If I want to be regarded as someone who’s intelligent, respectable. and top-shelf, then that’s exactly the person I need to be. I teach the world how to treat me by the way I treat myself, and the way I present myself.”
A Kiss at Midnight, Elosia James
“Men come and go. They are like icicles. They hang beautifully, and look all shiny and new, but then they break off with a crash and the really bad ones melt.”
A Kiss at Midnight, Elosia James
“She fell silent, unable to put into words what it was like to nestle against in Gabriel’s arms, to laugh with him, to relax against him, to make love to him.”
A Kiss at Midnight, Elosia James
“If there was one thing [she] would never, ever do, it was lose her head over a man. Or swoon. Or throw herself on a funeral pyre…”
A Kiss at Midnight, Elosia James
“He’s male. I’ve noticed that sometimes the brains simply get left out of the package…”
A Kiss at Midnight, Elosia James
“though [men] are delightful to play with, its best to avoid them… I’ve been married three times, darling, so I know.”
Susan Johnson, When You Love Someone
“…She asked as women do, not content unless they decipher sum and substance of every word uttered.”
Prince Joe, Suzanne Brockman
“It carried her higher, to an intellectual and emotional plane she’d never before imagined, and at the same time, it stripped her bare of every ounce of civility she had, leaving her ruled by ferocious passion, enslaved by the burning needs of her body. “
The Daily Coyote, Shreve Stockton
” ‘All bulls do is fight and eat and get carnal with the cows. Isn’t that like every man’s ideal life?’
‘Cept every six years, they’re sold off and turned into hamburger and a new, younger bull comes in to take their place. Isn’t that like every woman’s ideal life?’ “
The Daily Coyote, Shreve Stockton
“I let go…of wanting to fix his problems and cure his pain. This seems like such a common female thing, to lose oneself completely when trying to take care of others, but really, it is just another form of control, one that grants no faith in the other person and denies that they have the power and ability to help themselves.”
Matched, Ally Condie
“Then the question I asked myself was: Do I look pretty? Now the question I ask is: Do I look strong?”
Forever Amber, Kathleen Winsor
“… to the casual eye everything seemed most decorous. Satin-gowned ladies curtsied and smiled over spread fans, brocade-suited gentleman bowed from the waist with a flourishing sweep of their hats. Voices were low and conversation apparently polite. But in fact they were gleefully at work destroying one another’s characters. The men, as they stood watching a pretty woman, boasted that they had laid with her, discussed her physical defects and compared her behavior in bed. The women yanked reputations apart with equal or greater vigour.”
Shattered Dance, Caitlin Brennan
“She was often right- as little as he liked to admit it.”
The Man of My Dreams, Curtis Sittenfeld
“But in reality, perhaps it is Hannah who has allowed herself to be defined by men: first by worrying about what it meant that she wasn’t dating them, then by making up new worries when she was.”
Medea, Euripides
“For in other ways a women is full of fear, defenseless, dreads the sight of cold steel; but when once she is wronged in the matter of love no other soul can hold more thoughts of blood.”
William Shakespeare
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
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